im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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