I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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