I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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