My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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