I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
