Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize