You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
