Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
