I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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