South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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