so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
