theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
