Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
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The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
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You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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