I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
