Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
