In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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