I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
