Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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