Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I still have a little drunk in my system
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
