i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
