i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize