I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
