This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
