Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
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and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
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Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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