Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize