I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
