Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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