But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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