I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
