to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
