Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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