I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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