Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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