Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
