you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
