I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
She's the barista slut.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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