Quick, to the slutcave!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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