On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
