She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
