hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
