I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
