Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
