she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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