I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
