it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
