Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize