WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
