can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
