four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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