I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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