I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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