get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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