thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Randomize
