is your mom at the bar?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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