The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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