anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
