It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
