I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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