quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
