She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize